Dear Journal,

This is my first entry, and I am sure it won't be my last...

So I had a wierd dream last night as always, and I don't know if I should blame my pregnancy or my thinking to much.
Although everything has been wonderful up till now, there are still a few things I wish I could figure out on my own. I Love my husband very much, but sometimes he is stubborn as a bull when it comes to the concept of friends. No man is perfect, right? LoL Atleast I can laugh about that.

Anyways,

My Dream,

I was walking around the corner of my highschool, and I ran into my best friend... or was, I don't know. (TRUTH)We haven't talked in a very long time, and that at some points drove me to think that maybe she didn't care. So given certain consequences, I might have single handedly destroyed our friendship. Back to the dream, I apologized to her, and it was like nothing happened. I told her I was craving for Little Cesar's Pizza this entire pregnancy (I sure am craving pizza)so we went to go get some, but they were closed. Bummer, I was so upset... lol But next door there was a super high end hair place that sold "unique" (and by unique I mean wierd) hair products. We each bought this washable dye and they even dyed my hair for me in under 5 seconds. My hair was strawberry blond with random bright colors... I really don't know what to say about that. haha. So we left, and then I woke up...

Truth is,

I often wonder how she is doing, and wish I was there to help her when she needed a friend the most. But the thing is, I am not sure if I am the one just holding on, cause I tend to do that. It's almost like a story of "Forbidden Friendship," and of course the more someone tells you you can't have it, the more you want it, haha.

But,

This and several other dreams remind me of good & bad times that we've shared; bouncing up hills, crying over boys, getting questioned by police for being at a park past close time, making pink pasta, staying out late to karaoke and study at Denny's, etc.

However,

I have heard good news about her here and there. She seems more chatty and outgoing now, so maybe it's better that I wasn't there. Maybe the truth is I was holding her down instead of helping her up. So at the very least I am happy to hear that. I just keep telling myself that time will past, and will heal everything. Of course, this is hard for someone who is sentimental and worrisome like myself to accept, but its been several months. So maybe the pieces will just lay on the floor untounched, and uncleaned. Can't say much to that. In another several months, only God will know what is to happen.

My Baby is almost here, July 28, 2009, and tomorrow we find out if it's a boy or girl.

If only you could be there to witness one of the happiest moments of my life...

P.S. It's a Boy !